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Summer 2017

Highlights in this Edition include:
New Single "Safe Space"; Most Recent CD "Dutch Oven";On-Line EP, "Bright Ideas Vol 2",  New Videos, Jokes,
and That's About It

Welcom espalda, los hierros de los neumáticos!.

I've been giving out the website address lately so I thought I better update the site.

Safe Space coverSafe Space is available at CD Baby.  It's another single but if you buy it, and leave your e-mail address, I'll send you a link for the full version.  It's about twice the length but that's because it's basically a 4 minute guitar solo. Totally self-indulgent but I'm OK with that.

Being it's 2017, this site is coming up to its 17th anniversary in May.  I'm writing this out now since I'll totally forget to do anything about it in May. 

For you fine folks out there who haven't been here and are obviously having a hard time getting to sleep tonight or thinking you wound up on the Atlanta Doctor's home website (I refuse to pay for Google rankings or have any Ads on this site), I have 3 online "outlets":  first one and main one, is this site that rarely gets seen.  I'm OK with that; this isn't my day job.  Second is my Blog where, I wouldn't say "rant", but it's for more non-musical stuff.  And third is my Twitter feed where I basically go around liking the latest Onion article.  I got off of Facebook since I found it a bit useless because Feminists basically control FB's content.  You know how you can tell if you're at a Feminist Bookstore?  There's no Humour section.

I remember when I'd update this site every month.  Those were the days.  The picture used to get updated too but since I don't do selfies, I have about 4 pics I can rotate through.  I don't have to dye my hair yet so those pics that are 5 years old still look like me.  One day I'll prove it.  Anyways, I look at the site now and think, "this site could really use an overhaul" and then when I realise that I'm the guy that would be doing it, I think to myself, "Ah, maybe tomorrow". 

But yeah, 17 years.  And what a ride it's been.

I'm out of semi-retirement. Pete, Paul (from the old band) on bass and me will be playing out at the start of next year; about once a month.  That's great because it's not enough times for me to bellyache about moving gear.  Anyways, it sounds excellent with the bass, and Paul can sing, so Pete will have some harmonies.  My voice is too hit or miss live so I save my best bits for recording.
Gigs will be 9:00 - 11:00 pm at The Treehouse (351 Ouellette Ave, Windsor) on August 25th, September 22th, November 3rd and December 29th.

I started a new page of cover songs. I love doing covers and if I'm trying to recreate a song, as opposed to doing my own spin on one, I learn a whole lot.  I've recorded way too many covers over the last year.  The odd one does turn out OK, and that's what the Covers Page is all about - the better ones.  I'm not selling anything, and I'll always give credit.  Head on over to the Covers page.

 

Articles

If you're a 13 year old girl, don't read this next article, as it will spoil your illusions of your 2-dimensional hero, Taylor Swift.  It's been in the news lately, so here's my look at Streaming Digital Audio.

Taking a WHMIS test soon?  This article might help.

Spiritual Awakenings - Easter reminded me of it.

Russian Breakup Letter

Feel-good E-mails - Ever accidentally get those sob story e-mails that old ladies e-mail to each other?

Mysteries of the Sun

What's going to happen today?  Find out here with a little help from yourself.  Click here to read how to predict your future (pdf).

Doing a Jigsaw Puzzle.

Office Copier Brochures.

How Chain Letter E-mails Ruined My Life.

A Look at Staying Healthy - Part 1 and Part 2

 Thought

It's that time of year again when people start to wear shorts prematurely.  For some reason, when it's a high of 50 degrees outside, you're guaranteed to see some yo-yo wearing shorts.

So when is the time to wear shorts?  Simple; ask yourself: Will I sweat if I wear pants?  If the answer is "No" then put your pants on.  If the answer is "Yes" then go ahead, wear your shorts.

Random Song from Me

Beach Whistle coverBeach Whistle, my first "real" single, is available at CD Baby.  50 cents.  Why?  Because a dollar for file is a huge rip-off.  Anyways, it's a fun song, and at under 2 and half minutes, you could play it 12 times in half an hour.  Have a listen or watch the fairly boring video.  On a good note, I'm raising Beach Whistle Awareness since more than a few people asked me what a beach whistle is, so I have them look it up.  I'm not doing it for them.  These people are adults. 

I'm at all sorts of places

Twitter, CD Baby, YouTube, iTunes,

Remember that Bright Ideas - Volume 2 is available for sale at CD Baby as well as Dutch Oven.  Don't go to iTunes since their mark-up is ridiculous (all that extra money must go towards promoting terrorism).

Latest CD Release

Dutch Oven cover


Dutch Oven

available at CD Baby, iTunes and even Dr Disc.

Thanks to IndiePool for the printing the whole shrink-wrapped package.
Head on over to the Dutch Oven page.

Latest Video



 

Visit the Videos Page
Songs

More on the Song Page




If you are thinking about getting married but are unsure, ask yourself "What would Jesus do?"
Then remember that Jesus was never married.

As a joke I thought I'd sign up one of my mates to a gay dating website.
All was going well until the site came up with "E-mail address already in use"

Whenever I feel ill, I just go sit around the park for awhile and I instantly start feeling better.
I think it's the gazebo effect.

I brought a bunch of flowers for my first date with a vegan.
"That's really sweet," she said.
"Well I didn't know what you vegans ate."

I phoned the wife from work. "Do you ever get a shooting pain across your body, like someone's got a voodoo doll of you, and they're stabbing it?" I asked her.
"No?" she replied, sounding puzzled.
"How about now ...?"

I went to see a doctor about my premature ejaculation.
"Here's a simple tip," he said, "Think of your Grandma."
As I sat there holding my raging boner, I asked, "Ok, then what?"

My girlfriend complained that I treat her unfairly.
I said, "Geeze, someone woke up on the wrong side of the floor."

I was on a date with a gorgeous woman.
She said, "You're so funny. It feels so good to laugh. I haven't been able to laugh since my mother died."
I said, "You laughed when your mother died?"

I was in a job interview and the guy said, "What are your strengths?"
I said, "I'm not a very good listener."

Russia demands Internet users show ID to access public Wifi.
This is bad news for horny Russian brides everywhere.

I've never understood why the homeless look so miserable
It's not like they can get out the wrong side of the bed.

I can't say I'd find a better match than my wife.
Her cooking's perfect for my Bulimia

Which is more important, length or girth?
Turns out it's consent.

They've promoted that dwarf at work.
As if his head wasn't big enough already.

New releases this week at Blockbuster:
The staff.

I have sympathy for Justin Bieber throwing up during one of his gigs.
I'm sick of his music too.

My girlfriend thinks it's gross that I don't change my underwear everyday.
I think it's gross that she has to...

You know you're over weight when you get in the bath and the water in the toilet rises.

I was drinking at a bar last night when a waitress screamed... "Does anyone know CPR?"
I shouted "Hell, I know the whole alphabet."
Everyone laughed... Well everyone except this one guy.

Remind me, if I'm ever in hospital, make sure I'm never surrounded by my friends and family.
It usually doesn't end well.

As my wife lay dying in the hospital bed, she looked at me and said, "My life is flashing before my eyes."
"That's great," I replied. "See if you can spot where you lost my car keys last week."

Italy's nude statues covered for Iranian president's visit.
They may have made his 9 year old wife uncomfortable.

I was out with a woman on a date last night and she asked where I stood on abortion.
I said usually off to the side so I don't get blood on my shoes.
She left.

I spilled a bottle of Ritalin in my Ford Fiesta. Now it's a Ford Focus.

Feminism - The belief that women should be treated equally to men...
Except when women are treated better.

So a 103 year old man has married a 91 year old woman.
He couldn't find someone his own age?

I said to the doctor, "Could I have some tablets. I always get pains in my wrist after sex."
He said, "How long do they last?"
I said, "Usually until the police remove the handcuffs."

A man goes to the Doctor : He said "Doc I think I've got diabetes"
"What makes you think that?" replies the Doctor
"Well every time I fart I find candy floss in my underpants"

My Gran has diarrhoea. It's disgusting.
It almost made me want to take down the webcam in her bathroom. Almost.

After finding out that I had been having an affair my wife insisted that she would get her own back.
Two weeks later she confessed to sleeping with my best mate.
Jokes on her though, he's the one who gave me AIDS.

Although Stephen Hawking is disabled, he still remembers his first memory,
256k RAM

My brother and I laugh at how competitive we were as kids.
But I laugh more.

Don't try to understand women.
Women understand women and they hate each other.

How do you get every woman you ask to agree to having dinner with you?
Move to Ethiopia.

"Are you going to read Neil Armstrong’s biography?"
"Nah, He dies in the end".

I always keep a golf club by the side of my bed when I'm asleep.
Just so if anyone breaks in, they'll know I play golf and that I'm too boring to have anything worth stealing.